Windows of the Soul
by Epyon Zero
Summary: "The eyes are the windows of the soul." Gendo's thoughts as he rises for a new day at NERV.


Disclaimer: I don't own Evangelion, Gainax and Hideki Anno do, if I did I'd be making more eps and I'll be wallowing in my own crapulence and a pool full of money. `_~

  
  


Author's Notes: This story was inspired by looking at my sunglasses for too long. 

  
  
  
  


Windows of the Soul 

  
  


By: Epyon Zero 

  
  
  
  


Within the bowels of NERV's headquarters at Central Dogma there are many secrets, some well known others held in the confidence of a trusted few. One of those most secret of secrets was the location of Gendo Ikari's condo. Only three people in all of NERV knew of its location. First was Sub-Commander Kouzou Fuyutsuki, since he was Gendo's oldest friend and he needed to know where to reach him at any time. The second was Dr. Ritsuko Agaki, she knew because she occasionally slept there when Gendo was in the mood. The final person who knew of the whereabouts of Ikari's condo was the First Child, Rei Ayanami. She knew because she was the only person who saw the non-threatening side of Gendo, the side that was still human. That, and he hated to eat alone. 

  
  


As he rose that day and prepared to head into Dogma it was this human side of Gendo that had control. Pulling on the garments that made up the Commander's uniform Gendo smirked to himself. He himself hadn't had a hand in designing the thing, some nameless bureaucrat did, but it did suit the situation that he found himself in. The black pants and coat that made up the greater part of the piece seemed to be indicative of the long black shadows that followed him, both personal and professional. Every day he was reminded of that which he had lost, his wife Yui. Every time that he looked at Rei, Eva-01, or even Shinji, the part of him that was still human and feeling, gave him an icy knife of guilt and remorse. The blood red shirt was a constant reminder of the blood that was on his hands. 

  
  


Yet it was this guilt and remorse that made him go on. Gendo knew that if NERV succeeded in destroying all of the Angels he would have a chance to see Yui again. Still contemplating his life, Gendo bent down to the bedside table and retrieved the final objects to complete the familiar terror-inspiring form that he showed in public, his glasses and gloves. 

  
  


Gendo didn't really need the glasses, he had better than perfect vision. What the glasses _did_ do was shield from outside view his eyes and enhance his psychological impact on people. _"Or perhaps"_ his mind threw out, _"It is to prevent people from seeing you."_ That was partially true in a sense. If people could see his eyes it gave them one more advantage in figuring out what he was thinking. Also it would allow them to see the burning pits that his eyes had become. "A philosopher once said that the eyes are the windows of the soul." he muttered. "If this is true then I have no soul. It died the same day as Yui." Looking down at his scarred hands Gendo caught a faint glimmer. It was his gold wedding band, he _never_ took it off. Even when he'd burnt his hands rescuing Rei from 00's entry plug he'd demanded that the doctors leave the ring on his hand. The glimmer represented one of two things that drove Gendo's life. Memories of his wife and their brief time together, and a promise. After all the wedding vows had been _"until death us do part."_ And Yui was still very much alive, just inaccessible. Slipping the gloves over his hands and straightening out the non-existent wrinkles, Gendo set his face into the familiar icy mask that he usually portrayed and left his apartment to the shadows and broken dreams that lurked there. 

  
  
  
  


The End 

  
  


Author's notes: Well what do you think, this is my first, and probably _only_ Gendo-centric fic. Hat I've done is to take what's known or surmised about the man and write this. Basically what I figured is that through all of the Machiavellian intrigue Gendo does it all comes down to his basic mind set, no matter the cost the ends _always_ justify the means. 

  
  


Epyon Zero 


End file.
